The man who knows no foreign language, knows nothing of his mother.

WHEN TWO BECOME THREE



After two weeks of zero contact with Concettina, she surprisingly came to see me. She said she had something very important to say. ‘I did a pregnancy test!" she said.

Conci looked at the floor. The suspense was terrible.

“What was the result? I asked.

"It was positive," she replied.

“Aah! So you’re not pregnant” I said.

“Yes I am, you idiot!” said Conci. Positive isn’t an opinion! It indicates that I am pregnant!”

We remained in silence for a few minutes then I said: Conci, I don’t know what you will think about this, but I am very happy.’ She smiled immediately and embraced me. ‘Really? she said. When she embraced me I understood that I had missed her very much.

"So what about the sex?" I asked.

"John!" she shouted. “We’ve only been back together forty five seconds, be patient, please!"

“No!" I said. I am talking about the sex of the baby! Is it a boy or a girl?"

Concettina laughed. “It’s a little early to know that, Darling." To celebrate the good news we ordered pizza.

Pregnant women and Englishmen have something in common. We order very similar types of pizza.

I had a tuna fish and pineapple pizza and Conci had melon and chocolate.

We ate our pizza in silence. Both dreaming our dreams.

lf you live in Milan and you didn’t receive a telephone call from Concettina announcing her pregnancy, you are one of the very, very few. My mother instantly asked me when we intended to marry. “She’s right, we should marry,"  I decided.

I called Conci and asked her to meet me at her favourite restaurant. After the grappa at the end of the meal, I asked her to marry me. “Why do you want to marry me? she asked.

Well, because I love you and now we’re having a baby.”

Conci looked confused. “Wait a minute! Who told you that you are the father?!’

“What?! You mean you frequented another man?’

“We weren’t together, John! I was lonely!”

"It was two weeks!” I shouted. I saw that the people around us were listening intently to what we were saying, so I decided to be a hero. "Conci I love you anyway, so, if it’s ok, I want us to marry anyway.” Conci embraced me, which was her answer.

Back at the apartment I needed to talk to Dave.

"Conci is pregnant"  I announced.

Dave started to panic. “Did she... did she tell you who the father is?” he asked. He was so agitated.

“How did you know it is someone else?!” I asked. “Anyway we are going to be married!”

“I have to go!” Dave shouted, and ran out of the room.

Now, I am not stupid, and I know Dave better than his mother and I know why he ran out of the room so fast.

In this moment he is out in the city buying us a gift for our wedding. My God, he’s so predictable, that man!



Rispondi alle domande

1. What was the result of the pregnancy test?

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2. How did they celebrate the good news?

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3. What did Conci have on her pizza?

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4. What did John drink before asking Conci to marry him?

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5. How long had John and Conci been separated?

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6. What was Dave’s reaction to the news?

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7. How did Dave leave the room?

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8. Where was Dave going? (according to John)

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